When I was little, I used to think my mum spoiled all the fun. Why? She used to be quite disapproving when I wanted to hang out with the naughtiest kids in the class. When I was 10 years old, being naughty was much more fun AND it got me some attention! Double whammy, eh? What I didn’t realise when I was busy getting into trouble with the school caretaker, was that my mother understood the importance of being with like-minded people. It’s quite simple really (as are lots of things in life!) – if you hang out with people who think it’s acceptable to drink a bottle of whisky a day, you become an alcoholic. If you hang out with people who like train spotting, you become a nerd……….only joking you lovely train spotters!
When I was a student at Aberdeen University way back when, I worked as a volunteer in the Cyrenian Shelter for the homeless in the city centre. It was closed during the day, so the tramps had to literally ‘tramp’ the streets and then come back for shelter at night. What attracted them the shelter? Yes, a bit of food and drink and a (stinking) mattress for the night. But what really kept them coming back was the fact that they could be with like-minded people, people who wouldn’t judge for who they were. I think the tragedy for them was the nature of their mindset – their hopelessness and lack of self-esteem.
When people get clear about what they want in life, it makes it easier to hang out with the ‘right’ crowd. Here’s a really important tip – if you want to become a golf pro, don’t spend your time in the tennis club! (Bet you thought it was going to be more complicated than that!). You need to be around people who will support you in achieving what you want out of life, whose lifestyle you are aspiring to AND can help you create opportunities.
Here’s a really important idea-‘Your network is your networth’. If my mum were still around she wouldn’t necessarily understand that jargon but she would so understand the concept. Because when I use the word networth, I’m not necessarily talking how much money you have – I’m also talking about the common values you share with others in your network.
So, who are you hanging around with? Check your feathers – and your mates’ feathers – and see if you’re all flocking in the right direction.